Me vs. The Network Admin
admin: So I hear your HD crashed yesterday, shame.
me: yes, how utterly random that my 5month old HD crashed after you all pushed out policies to our machines that I didn't agree with, and that you KNOW i had blocked from being administered to my machine.
admin: it was God's will that your machine be destroyed. God's will.
me: i'm sure, assimilate or leave, right?
admin: meh...more like assimilate or be wiped out. in this case your HD chose the latter.
me: two cheers for my HD taking a stand against the establishment. I will sing songs in it's honor, and tell stories of its martyrdom
admin: yes, i'm sure it's in computer heaven with it's 50 virgins, living the dream.
admin: your new HD will be pre-programmed and will do the bidding/will of it's master, us, not you.
me: I'm going to tell HR the i've legally changed my name to Neo
admin: You....can't beat us
me: You'll be known as 'Smith' from here on out, your real name is dead to me. Today, begins the war
admin: Okay, Mr Anderson. We're in control, don't forget that
me: [channeling my inner Sam Jackson] You are NOT in control